I turned this way and that; tuned into the Spirit and at every turn asked which way He would have me to go. I loved it. I loved my utter dependence on the Lord and the fun I was having. There was one jut that took me maybe 7 steps out of my way. It took longer than I expected but I had complete trust. Then, "suddenly" the trailhead at the other side arose, and I was back to the main road. My path had never been explored before, but the Lord did not let me down.
I loved that time.
Okay, fast forward. My summer was incredible. I worked as an intern with City Church under Theresa. I absolutely loved it. Even though she often apologized for my sitting on Excel all the time and that I didn't get to do too glamorous of work, I loved, literally, every minute of it. It filled me. It confirmed my heart and calling to be in full time ministry. Furthermore, this summer, I got to work with City Youth a bunch and am now signed on to work with them through the fall. I was a leader for both camps over the summer and, gosh, those kids are legit. All the while, however, I was looking for a job and trying to figure out life as a recent college graduate. Despite my efforts, it continued to be a summer just at the church without a job. I saw the Lord's goodness in it, though, because of the opportunities with the church that it opened up. But still, I kept wondering what was going on. Why could I not find any job? And why above all else, was I completely at peace with having nothing figured out? No place to live? No job? No solid element to my life. No foundation except for the Lord. The only steadfast and the only truth.
This morning, I went for a run. I hadn't run in a couple weeks, so it felt great. But I also had not familiarized myself with the neighborhood or the area. I just ran. When I came to the easy point turn around and go back in a straight and well defined path that had no questions to it, I instead felt my adventurer spirit rise up in me. "Turn right. Listen. You will get back." So I turned right. At this point, I was just walking. I came to a subdivision entrance that matched the same neighborhood my home is in. It was off of a different road and I had yet to see that there was any road that would have taken the neighborhood in this direction, but I turned. Again, I felt the Lord speak over me, "You are a trailblazer." My trail to me was unset and unseen. I had to completely rely on the Lord again. Turn when he said to turn. My heart fluttered at the feeling of adventure and the peace I had knowing that I knew I would end up back where I needed to be. No stress. Some people would say I was lost. In a few moments, I could have said, "I'm lost." But I pressed on. Tuned in. Asked for the way to go. I walked and walked and walked. At each intersection, I would ask, "Do I turn?" "No, keep going." I made one turn here and one turn there. And right before me was the road I was looking for - the main road to the neighborhood on my side of it. I knew perfectly where I was and got home easily.
I loved the walk. I loved that at any given time I knew that I could turn around and take a long road back that was a "safe way," but that I had zero desire to do that. My trailblazing spirit was in full swing and even if I had to jump creeks and climb muddy, rocky slopes, I would find my way and never need to fear. I loved the complete dependence I had on the Lord for direction and for any and all rain to hold off until I was safely back. In it, I felt the Lord raise up that part of my identity, that trailblazing part of me, that doesn't go by the clearly marked path, but the path set by Him and the peace I had in just walking with Him. Unconcerned by having no true idea of where I was, but I was with my Dad and knew I could trust Him. I had to trust Him.
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When you're walking with the Lord, your life cannot be mundane because He is not mundane. It's an adventure, but the other half of an adventurer spirit and an adventure is not recklessness or wandering but complete, true, full dependence on and trust in the Lord. Trust in who He is, who you are, who you are to Him, and in what He is doing and saying. Only in abiding in the Lord does the adventure have peace and purpose.
"I have and never will give you a task too big, for in Me all is possible. Therefore, walk with me and see and do the amazing thing I have for you." - Abba (11/14/2009)