That's how it always begins. It's not long before the motionlessness of my body is swept away in the moment of passion. As the words peel of the page, they direct and trace my movements. And I'm dancing. I'm always dancing. It's peaceful. It's home. I find myself again. Dancing. Always dancing. Like one who has studied dance for years but without an ounce of true training. The lifts are effortless and elegant. The emotion clearly conveyed. It's like the language of my heart.
The next day, I did my "research" which included texting a friend who has some tattoos to find out where to go. He recommended a place in Anderson where apparently all the cool kids go. I also asked what I should expect for a price on it to ensure not getting ripped off. He gave me the price margin and it worked. Then, well, being the slight zealot I can be, I called to find out the earliest I could get in for an appointment. I suddenly was hoping for that day or the next. Nope. Friday, of course. I went in on that Friday and got it.
In case the Lord hadn't done enough in this story, He also removed all pain from the equation. It didn't hurt for a moment. I just sat and hummed some Bryan and Katie Torwalt the whole time. And as long as my eyes were set on Him, it simple felt like odd buzzing on my foot. Zero pain. I took that as further confirmation of His agreement with this whole plan.
The anklet reads:
Mi razón para bailar es que soy Suya para siempre."
(My reason for dancing is that I am His forever.)
More than anything else, I have found this to be a point of identity for me. The dancer of my spirit daily is obvious in my physical self, as, well, I never stop dancing. I just keep dancing, dancing, dancing. It's home.
The season I have found myself in for some time now has not been easy. I have grown, healed and been pruned. It has not been one of harvest but much more wilderness. A season of barrenness. It's not that the daily grind has been filled with awful things but much more that everything has been hard and hard-pressed. Joy has been a choice. Relationships have been intentional. Tears have been close. Thoughts have been deep. Exhaustion has been a friend. But when I have allowed myself to just come to Him and to choose Him and enter into the Lord's presence, I have found that the dancing has not ceased; the tears have been laughter; the thoughts childlike; and the energy overflowing.
With the dancing and joy in particular, I found myself checking myself. I don't want to be some emotional roller coaster or hypocritical. So I paused and checked my heart. Am I dancing for the right reasons?
Over the weekend, Holy Spirit whispered in the midst of my questions,
"You don't 'DO' anything in the Kingdom; you 'ARE.' Everything is done from the overflow of identity."
He stilled my questions with that. As I chewed on that, He reminded me of my tattoo. I don't dance because life is peachy keen and it is something that I must needs do, I dance because I am His yesterday, today and forever. And THAT is reason enough to never stop dancing. To rejoice always. And the dance doesn't always look celebratory. It is my heart and spirit in one communing with Him. It is a language all itself. So whether the day is sunny or rainy, the weather is perfect or miserable, my heart is happy or sad, my work is smooth or stressful, I cannot help but dance because it is more than what I do, it is who I am: HIS.